Journal Entry 4/4/23

I hate feeling shitty. I’ve been feeling relatively decent for most of the day. But all of a sudden my neck and head start hurting, my stomach gets upset, and I get irritable and frustrated. I don’t know what to fucking do. I definitely could benefit from exercise, but I’m always so afraid to go back to the gym. I yearn to be able to drink again, but I’m not sure how much that will help me. Honestly, a combination of exercise, therapy, and medicine are the only things that have ever gotten me consistently in a good place. I hope I can get to the gym soon.

Ugh I just feel so shitty right now. Just alone and disappointed and scared and frustrated. Bugs Jr lost Peter and Glenda today. They’re choosing these meth babies over Sirius and Bugs Jr. Good for them. I would rather not have people in our lives who I can’t trust. Keep your circle small, as they say.

But what are some good things that have happened in my life?

1. Having Bugs Jr

2. Getting Bugs Jr to myself

3. Bugs Jr bringing me immense amounts of love and joy

4. My family being there for me when I need them

5. Graduating college

6. Being a really good salesman

7. Being really good at customer service

8. Winning big money several times

9. Hooking up with some hot women

10. Being an amazing athlete and being recognized and rewarded for it